New Zealand etiquette: the dos and don’ts

By Aroha Ngata, New Zealand host 13 August 2026 6 min read

Peaceful landscape of hills and a lake in Kereta, Waikato, New Zealand. — Photo by Petra Reid on Pexels

Drizzle taps the window of Customs on Ghuznee Street as I nurse a flat white and watch Wellington shrug itself awake. Outside, a woman in a black puffer jacket holds an umbrella into the wind at a defiant angle — she’s not fighting it, just negotiating. It’s 10°C and grey, the kind of mid-August morning that makes you grateful for the steam rising off your cup. This is the Wellington I know: a city that hunkers down in winter, then bursts into life with film festivals and burger competitions. If you’re visiting this week, you’ve landed in the thick of it — and you’ll want to know how to move through our world without stepping on toes. Let me walk you through the unspoken rules.

Greetings: the art of the nod and the hongi

New Zealanders are warm but not effusive. A handshake is standard for first meetings — firm, brief, with eye contact. Among friends, a hug or a kiss on the cheek is common, but don’t lean in unless you’re invited. The Māori hongi — pressing noses and foreheads together — is reserved for formal pōwhiri (welcoming ceremonies) or when someone explicitly offers it. Don’t attempt it uninvited.

More likely, you’ll get a nod and a “kia ora” (hello) or “g’day”. Kia ora is a beautiful, versatile phrase — use it freely. It’s also fine to say “thanks” with a nod; we’re big on understatement. When introduced to someone, use their first name. Titles are rare outside formal settings. And please, don’t call us “Aussies” — we’re New Zealanders, or Kiwis. The distinction matters more than we let on.

Tipping: it’s not a thing (but a little is lovely)

Here’s the relief: you don’t tip. New Zealand’s hospitality wages are not American-style tipped wages. At cafes like Flight Coffee Hangar or Evil Twins, you pay for your flat white — around $5.50 NZD — and that’s it. At restaurants like Koji or Kisa, the service is included in the listed price. If you round up “keep the change” at a bar, it’s appreciated but never expected. For exceptional service, a 10% tip is a generous gesture, not a rule. Tour operators and guides? Again, optional. You won’t offend anyone by not tipping — but a smile and a clear “thank you” go a long way.

Dining manners: bring your own wine, eat with your hands

When a Kiwi invites you to their home or a dinner party, bring a bottle of wine or some good beer — Beervana is on at Hnry Stadium later this month, so craft ales are everywhere. Don’t bring flowers unless you know the host well; it can feel fussy. If you’re heading out, note that many Wellington restaurants are licensed (they sell alcohol), but BYO (“bring your own”) venues are also common — check before you bring a bottle.

At a café, order at the counter and then sit down. At a restaurant, it’s fine to ask for a “table for two” — no need to hover. Table manners are standard Western: keep your elbows off the table, say “please” and “thank you”, and don’t wolf down your food — we take our time, especially during Visa Wellington On a Plate, the city’s month-long food festival. You’ll see queues for burgers and dumplings at places like Ngon! on Cuba Street — join in, but don’t cut ahead. The “wait in line” rule is sacred here. Also, it’s perfectly acceptable to eat with your hands when having fish and chips on the waterfront — in fact, it’s encouraged.

Dress: layers, waterproof, and no shoes inside

Wellington’s weather is a personality test. It’s 10–14°C this week with drizzle — and the wind is legendary (“Windy Welly” isn’t a nickname, it’s a warning). Dress in layers: a merino base, a warm hoodie or sweater, and a waterproof shell. You’ll see locals in jeans and sneakers or sturdy boots — nothing fancy. For evenings out at film screenings at the Embassy Theatre or dinner at Le Bouillon Bel Air, “smart casual” works — a nice top and dark jeans are fine. No suits needed unless you’re meeting a politician.

One hard rule: remove your shoes before entering someone’s home. You’ll often see a pile of sneakers by the door. This applies to many marae (Māori meeting grounds) — but if you visit a marae, you’ll be guided through protocols, so just follow your hosts. In public buildings like Te Papa Tongarewa, keep your shoes on.

Small customs that matter: the haka, the “she’ll be right”

You’ll hear “she’ll be right” — it means “everything will be okay” and it’s our unofficial motto. It accompanies a laid-back approach to life. But don’t mistake that for indifference. We care deeply about our environment, our history, and our mana (dignity). When you visit Zealandia, the urban ecosanctuary in Karori, you’ll notice the predator-proof fence — that’s our national pride in action. Respect it — don’t feed the kākā (they’ll steal your sandwich anyway, but don’t encourage them).

If you hear a haka — maybe before an All Blacks game or at a cultural performance — stand still and watch with respect. It’s not a performance piece; it’s a challenge, a greeting, a story. Don’t imitate it unless invited. And if someone offers you a hongi, lean in gently. These moments are rare and sacred — reciprocity is key.

Also, don’t litter. Ever. Our “clean, green” image is earned. And on public transport, let older passengers sit — it’s a small kindness that’s noticed. The Snapper card is how you pay on Metlink buses and the Cable Car — tap on, tap off, and say “thank you” to the driver as you get off. It’s almost rude not to.

Local nuance: politics, weather, and the quiet nod

Wellington is the political heart of the country — Parliament sits in the Beetham-shaped Beehive on Molesworth Street. This week, the Prime Minister faced a confidence vote (he survived, but the defence minister resigned — we’re all talking about it). If conversation turns to politics, you can engage, but stay curious, not combative. Kiwis are direct but polite; we’ll listen to your views, and we expect the same.

One thing to remember: we have a saying — “it’s not personal, it’s just the wind.” If someone is brisk, it might be the nor’wester. Don’t take it to heart. And if you see a person standing silently at a lookout, like the Mount Victoria Lookout (Matairangi), don’t intrude. We come here to reflect. Let the city’s views speak.

Finally, a practical note on visiting: you’ll need an NZeTA (if you’re from a visa-waiver country like the US or UK) — apply online at least 72 hours before you fly. And if you’re planning to work, sort your IRD number — but for a holiday, just enjoy. Wellington is safe, walkable, and full of warmth beneath its grey-sky exterior. Wrap up, put your hand over that coffee lid, and you’ll be right at home.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to tip in New Zealand restaurants?

No, tipping is not expected in New Zealand. Service is included in prices. You can round up or leave a 10% tip for exceptional service, but it's optional and never required.

What should I wear in Wellington in August?

August is deep winter in Wellington. Wear layers: merino or wool base, a warm sweater, and a waterproof jacket. Windproof outerwear is essential. Comfortable waterproof shoes are a must for drizzle.

What does 'kia ora' mean?

Kia ora is a Māori greeting meaning 'hello' or 'welcome'. It's widely used across New Zealand. You can also use it to say 'thanks' in a casual way. It's a warm, versatile phrase.

How do I get around Wellington without a car?

Wellington is compact and walkable. For longer trips, use Metlink buses with a Snapper card — you can also use it on the Cable Car. The Airport Flyer links the airport to the city centre.

Is it okay to enter a home without removing shoes?

No, always remove your shoes before entering a New Zealand home. It's a common courtesy and keeps floors clean. You'll often see a pile of shoes by the front door.

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